Two Left Feets ?

Fellow salseros and salseras .... how many times have you heard this phrase ... sorry, I can't dance. I have 2 left feet ... usually this is a typical answer from a guy.

And my answer to that ... "If you can walk ... you can dance".

Of course, I did not successfully pester them to join because deep inside .. I know that is an excuse. So don't men like to dance ?

All around the world, people dance. While it is true that not every individual person likes dancing, it is true that all cultures have dances. People dance largely because they enjoy it. There seems to be some mental reward, some joy to be had, from moving in a rhythmical and rather pointless way. That humans have an innate ability to enjoy dancing means that we presumably evolved this. The things that give us pleasure are not random. We enjoy good food, sex, success, hunting, warmth, company, and the like because these all help us to survive and reproduce. People in the past did not evolve to like sex because it gave them pleasure. They evolved to like sex because a liking for sex helped them pass on more genes.

People who hated sex did not become our ancestors.

So, there must be some good reason why humans like to dance. I have a theory which I here put forward to explain why people dance. In short, I believe that women dance in order to encourage men to dance, and that they do this in order to learn about the men.

The Grandparents Observation

If you ask very old people how they met their spouses, the answer will often be that they met on the dance floor. In the time of our grandparents, there was no television, and one of the principle social gatherings was the dance. If you ask a grandmother why she fell in love with her husband, the answer will often be that he was such a good dancer. Conversely, if you ask a grandfather, he is likely to say “Well, she was such a sweet little thing then. The prettiest girl in the room.” It is very rare for a man to fall in love with a woman just because she is a good dancer. I confess that if I saw two women dancing, one of whom danced like a goddess but looked like a hag, while the other looked like a goddess and danced like a limpet, I’d still probably go for the limpet.

The Night Club Observation

Go to a dance club in KL today, and the chances are that if you go early enough, you will see a dance floor populated entirely by women. These may be formed up in small circles, perhaps around piles of handbags, and they would be dancing, and enjoying dancing. They would be getting simple pleasure from the act of moving to the music. They will almost certainly be dancing in a manner which requires little skill. To an observer, they would not be putting out a message which said “Look how skilfully I can dance”. Instead, the message would be either simply “I am enjoying doing this,” or, if they are putting on a show for anyone looking on, it might be “Look what a great body I have.”

Some considerable while later, the floor gets some men on it. This only happens when the floor is so crowded that the men are able to hide on it, and/or when the men have had a great deal to drink, and are too 'boozed' to be able to dance with any skill.

If a man does get up early on, and walks onto the dance floor and starts dancing, then he risks looking a fool. If he dances on his own he looks odd. If he tries to break into one of the rings of women, then he will have a tough time of it. If he dances with enthusiasm and great skill then onlookers are likely to conclude that he is, to use Malaysian slang, “ah beng”, that is, someone who thinks that he is marvelous, but isn’t.

The Salsa Effect

I have done a fair bit of disco dancing but my real love is for Salsa. I have noticed one interesting difference between disco dancing and salsa, which fits my theory rather well.

At the end of a salsa dance which goes well for me, I might get a favorable reaction from my partner. Often, this consists of her opening her eyes as if waking from a nice dream, and saying “That was nice.” She had closed them during the dance, and had been imagining that I was Brad Pitt or Orlando Bloom (that's if they salsa). While dancing with me, she had surrendered control of her body to my lead and her auto-pilot. She had contributed nothing to the choreography of the dance, and had instead been content to go wherever she was led. She was moving to the music, and the music was constant. She was a slave to the rhythm and to the lead. She had enjoyed the dance for the simple reason that she happens to get a kick out of moving to music.

I suppose that for modesty’s sake I should say that not all my dances go this well.

Some women with whom I have corresponded on this topic have reported feeling a “romantic rush” once they have been dancing for a while. It seems that dance can put women “in the mood”, so to speak. Any good male dancers in their vicinity at this point would be in the best position to take advantage of this.

SO WHY MEN DON'T LIKE TO DANCE ?

One might argue that it takes little bravery for a man to get up and dance. Very few men have died dancing, whereas many have died fighting. Men often use Dutch courage (alcohol) to work up the nerve to dance, just as if they were working up the nerve to fight. Men do risk a great deal too by dancing. In a fight a man risks losing his ability to pass on genes. This is the thing of which evolution has made us most terrified. If a man dies, he passes on no more genes. If a man fights badly, he might die. If a man dances badly, he will show the women that he is not a good catch, and so he will pass on few genes. Bravery is the over-coming of fear. Fear evolves to stop us from doing things which might harm our ability to pass on genes. For a man, therefore, dancing does require courage. For a woman is requires almost none. A woman has little to lose by dancing badly.

Partnered Dance

A lot of dance is done in couples. This is not universal, and some see it as possibly a recent European innovation. Nevertheless, I shall write a few words about it. Much of this section is still relevant to other types of dance.

In partnered dances, the man leads and the woman follows. The lead part is more difficult, requires greater strength, and it helps if the leader is larger than the follower. To dance well in unison, the man has to look after his partner. Women do not enjoy men who seek to prove how strong they are by leading with unnecessary force. A good leader leads with enough force and no more, and leads the moves his partner enjoys. It accords with records of female sexual fantasies that they would enjoy dancing with a man who is tall, strong, gentle, and looks after them. By dancing with a man, a woman is in the perfect position to judge both how physically talented the man is at dancing, and how well he treats women. A man who is determined to dance impressively, may ignore the wishes and reactions of his partner, and execute an extra-ordinary series of whirls and jumps, which jars his partner’s shoulder painfully.

Partnered dances are often described as vertical expressions of horizontal desire. A woman can try out her partner’s touch, to see if “chemical electricity” flows. To some degree this may tell her how compatible a sexual partner he might be.

Conclusions

Women have an innate liking for dance. In the past, the women who danced learned more about the men around them, and so passed on more genes, and created a species in which the females have an innate liking for dance. Some things, the women could already see: they knew which men were oldest, which tallest, and which most muscular, but by getting the men to dance, they could learn a great deal more. All information is good. Finding out which men were bad dancers was just as important as finding out which men were good. If a woman gets a man to dance just once in his life, then she has perhaps learned that the reason he doesn’t dance, is that he has two left feet and no rhythm. These women did not have to marry the good dancers, but they might use their knowledge to get the best sperm by having an affair. For most women, the evolutionary jackpot is getting the best sperm in the district, and then fooling some poor sap into helping her bring the resultant child up, thinking it to be his own. Dance helped women achieve this jackpot.

It is well recognized that women are more choosy about sexual partners. Natural selection has armed women with dance to improve their powers of choice. Natural selection has also equipped men with a useful fear of this weapon. - from Evolution Menu

THAT'S WHY MEN DON'T DANCE.